Whisper
by EternalConfusion
Summary: Chris song-fic... Basically this is Chris saying what happened when his Mom died and...Gee, this summary sux, lol Umm, it's sad, it's dark...:'( have a tissue ready...


**Whisper**

Piper(plus as in and...there's a plus sign here...stupid site...)Leo4eva

Disclaimer: I would like to bring to your attention that I do NOT own Charmed, and am not intending to benefit from this...well...unless I'm counting the review...meh...Although, maybe one day I'll own a small part of Charmed...hmmm ::ponders the thought:: Anyway, I also want you to know that I do not own the song Whisper...the lyrics are ace...and well...as much as I wish I could take credit for, I can't that's Evanescence's job...

A/N: So, I was listening to Evanescence and thought, DAMN! Would Whisper make a great song fic...of course I didn't intend to write half as much as I did...but I just managed to scribble out 6 pages or so in around 2hours...and I'm pretty proud of it, so please...RR!

* * *

It's all a blur, Mom yelling and fighting, demons surrounding us, throwing energyballs and whatever else they had at us. And me? What the hell was I doing back then? I could have done so much more, so, so much more. I could have fought more, fought harder, obeyed mom; I coulda gotten outta there-I could have found someone else, someone that could have helped, Phoebe or my cousin, anyone...hell, even Leo, the useless so-called-father of mine. The only person I couldn't have turned to was my older brother, Wyatt. He used to be one of us, one of the good guys...or so I thought. But now? No, now I'm pretty sure he's evil; as evil as can be. Yep, worse than the damn source. And you thought he was evil? God, you really haven't seen evil until you've seen the almighty twice blessed; Wyatt Matthew Halliwell. Who would have thought someone with pacifist, yeah bloody pacifist blood could be so damn evil.

_**Catch me as I fall**_

_**Say you're here and it's all over now**_

_**Speaking to the atmosphere**_

_**No one's here and I fall into myself**_

_**This truth drives me**_

_**Into madness**_

_**I know I can stop the pain**_

_**If I will it all away**_

As I said Mom and I were surrounded.

"Chris! Get down!" Mom yelled as an energyball zipped past my head, narrowly missing. I breathed a sigh of relief as I got up.

"Chris-get out of here please," Mom begged me, but I ignored her, I mean she's all I had. There was no-one else who cared about me in the same way. Dad has never been around, Wyatt was evil and wanted us, well...mainly he wanted me, to join him. Like hell I would ever do that, not even as a last result. Never. Sure, I still had Aunt Phoebe and my cousin but they wouldn't want me...not really, they didn't love me like Mom did. No-one did, no-one has ever, or will ever come close. There will never be another Mom.

"No, I'm staying here! I'm staying with you!" My head was in a mess by then. I would not go down like this-I would not go down without a fight. SO I started to fight, for Mom's sake. We'd get out of there-we had to! Was all I thought. I didn't look back, not once...not until it was too late. Soon the demons started blinking and shimmering out before I'd vanquished them. Yes! We were winning! They were giving up! At least, that's what I thought...until I turned around. I gasped, I could feel myself lose all colour I had, I must have been so pale.

"Mom! Mom!" I yelled as I ran to her side, tears streaming down my face.

"Mom, hold on...don't leave me-not like this!" I said taking her hand. She was pale, and cold, very cold; she was bleeding in the stomach and the head. I pushed her hair out of her hair, breathing in sharply as she gasped for air.

_**Don't turn away**_

_**(Don't give into the pain)**_

_**Don't try to hide**_

_**(Though they're screaming your name)**_

_**Don't close your eyes**_

_**(God knows what lies behind them)**_

_**Don't turn out the light**_

_**(Never sleep, never die)**_

"Mom no, just hold on!" I said smiling weakly at her; at least I tried to smile.

"Dad! Dad! Dad...please...please, you have to come! Just once Dad...just this once...DAD!!!" I yelled out, but I knew the one person that could help Mom would never come...

I turned back to Mom and sunk to my knees, I cried into my hands knowing the worst was happening right infront of my eyes. And the worst thing was knowing there was nothing I could do about it. Nothing...nothing...nothing....

I heard a faint whisper, but when I looked up passed it of as nothing.

"C...Ch...Chris..."

"MOM!" I yelped as I scrambled to her side. Her voice was faint, quiet and hoarse; but I didn't car-all I needed was her voice. When I was a kid it would always make me feel safe. As long as I had Mom everything would be okay.

"Ch...Ch...Chris...I...I want...you...to...know...I...I...I love you..." Mom said gasping for air and stroking my hand. She looked tire, worn out...like...like...like she was ready to give up.

"No, mom...don't you dare give up on me!" I said before looking upwards.

"Dad! Get your stupid ass down here and heal mom. NOW! DAD!" It was no use he obviously wasn't coming. I don't even know why I thought he might, I suppose I thought that even if he wouldn't come for me he'd come for Mom. But he never did.

In a moment of complete and utter desperation I held out my hands over Mom's body and prayed desperately that this time I would be able to heal her. 'Heal, come on please...Just heal God damn it! HEAL! Christopher! If you can't even help your mom, you are seriously useless!' I mentally scolded myself.

"Mom...Mom...please, just stay strong and stay with me. Fight it! Don't let the pain win! I'm not gonna lose you like this! I can't! I won't! Please Mom, please stay here, stay with me, just hold on. Fight god damn it! _Fight!_" I yelled at her, tears streaming down my face. I was so angry, angry at everything; Wyatt, Dad, the demons and even Mom for giving up.

"C...Ch...Chris...I...I'm cold...I...I can't...feel my legs...I...I...I...love you..." Mom said weakly.

"NO! Don't you dare...you can't...no...not like this...how can you leave me? NO! Don't...don't die, I need you! Mom, I love you!" I said looking down at her, as my tears came harder and faster.

"I...I'm...sorry..." Mom said gasping for breath.

Then, in a flash she was gone. Along with my childhood, my innocence, my beliefs in my family and the Elders. I was left cold, empty and alone. I sat back against the wall, pulled my knees up to my chin and just broke down. I cried and I sore, I was sad, angry, tired, confused...I didn't what I really was. Just hurting.

_**I'm frightened by what I see**_

_**But somehow I know**_

_**That there's much more to come**_

_**Immobilized by my fear**_

_**And soon to be**_

_**Blinded by tears**_

_**I can stop the pain**_

_**If I will it all away**_

I stayed like that, crying against the wall for days. No-one came and no-one disturbed me...it was great, just me and my memories. I still can't believe I cried constantly for three long days; I cried until no more tears would come.

A final sob wracked my body as I realised there was no way I could go on like that, although I didn't care what happened with my life I knew this wasn't the worst. It was bad, for me it felt like hell. Before 'the event' had happened there were a couple of innocents who had lost their lives, but man, was this getting bad. And my brother was leading it all...I thought that maybe, if anyone could stop Wy it'd be me. No longer paralysed by the pane I finally got up; my legs hurt, my bum was numb but I was okay.

_**Don't turn away**_

_**(Don't give into the pain)**_

_**Don't try to hide**_

_**(Though they're screaming your name)**_

_**Don't close your eyes**_

_**(God knows what lies behind them)**_

_**Don't turn out the light**_

_**(Never sleep, never die)**_

_**Fallen angels at my feet**_

_**Whispered voices at my ear**_

_**Death before my eyes**_

_**Lying next to me I fear**_

_**She beckons me**_

_**Shall I give in**_

_**Upon my end shall I begin **_

_**Forsaking all I've fallen for**_

_**I rise to meet my end**_

Part of me didn't want to move, didn't want to leave the house, didn't want to leave her. But I pushed the pain out of my mind, it didn't mean I'd forgotten it; it just didn't hurt quite so much. I moved towards the front door slowly. I stepped outside. I was amazed at the world infront of my eyes. In such a short amount of time the world had changed so much. In the blink of an eye it changed from bad to worse, Earth to hell. And now...the world seemed so much darker, so much greyer. No longer the world I once recognised, it was as though a shadow had been cast over the world, not just my heart; and it was all Wyatt's fault.

It started of as hate and revenge. I hated my brother and all his actions. I wanted him to feel what I had felt the past few days. I wanted him to suffer. I wanted him to hurt so much that he'd want to die. But after years of trying to stop him I realised that revenge and anger were not the way to get to him. Hell, he was evil; he pretty much had no emotions anymore...not real ones. The only way to stop him is to stop any of this from ever happening. I have to go...back in time to save my brother from evil, killing innocents and family.

It's the only way.

It'll be tough. It'll be hard; especially seeing Mom again, at first I bet I'll want to fall straight into her arms and cry like I did back then. But I'll push the thoughts, the memories, the pain away-I'll push it all away. I'll get on with my mission. I'll save my brother and the future-for the best. And hey-maybe this time me and Dad'll get another chance, maybe Mom'll live longer. But most importantly I'll have my brother and all those lost innocents can be saved.

I'm doing it. I'm going back. To save the future-both mine and yours.

**_Don't turn away _**

_**(Don't give into the pain)**_

_**Don't try to hide**_

_**(Though they're screaming your name)**_

_**Don't close your eyes**_

_**(God knows what lies behind them)**_

_**Don't turn out the light**_

_**(Never sleep, never die)**_


End file.
